Top tips to make your conversation sparkle

by Jaimie Abbott

Knowing how to make lively conversation enriches your personal and professional life. Oral communication plays a big part in how we learn about each other and draw closer together. These are some methods for creating better dialogue.

Here are some of my top methods for improving your conversation skills:

1. Spend plenty of time listening. You may find that you need to talk less. Balance the amount of time you spend talking and the time you spend listening. Give others a chance to contribute.

2. Offer sincere compliments. Heartfelt compliments will warm up any exchange. Let people know that you recognise their good qualities and the positive impact they make.

3. Watch how others respond. Strive to be observant. If people are fidgeting or yawning, it could be a sign to change subjects or draw your chat to a close.

4. Search for compatible people. Even if you’ve got some unusual interests and views, you can always find kindred spirits. Find a fellow cat lover who will commiserate over how to please a finicky eater or a rafting enthusiast to exchange adventure stories with.

5. Provide background information. People will be more receptive to unfamiliar subjects if you start at the beginning . Fill in the facts so it’s easier to follow what you’re talking about.

6. Open up your body language. Friendly gestures and confident eye contact make you appear more likeable and interesting. Stand up straight and uncross your arms.

7. Speak clearly. Slow down and articulate your words. Everything sounds better when you avoid mumbling. Holding your head up automatically makes you sound more energetic and warm.

8. Build up your vocabulary. Increase your word power. The bigger your vocabulary, the easier it is to select the precise words to convey your message. You’ll make a better impression and sound more persuasive.

More challenging methods for improving your conversation skills

1. Cherish others. People will be more receptive to anything you’ve got to say if they sense that you take a sincere interest in others and want to help them. Remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for. Look for opportunities to extend the positive feelings you hold about your loved ones to a broader circle of acquaintances.

2. Nourish your self esteem. Know that you matter and you have worthwhile things to contribute. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and take strategic risks when it comes to speaking your mind.

3. Express your emotions. Be honest with yourself about your true feelings so you can talk about them in a constructive manner. Discussing conflicts directly and tactfully prevents them from building up. Your example may give others the freedom to disclose more too.

4. Focus on the present moment. Engage fully in what you’re doing. Put aside other distractions so you can give people your full attention.

5. Lead a meaningful life. Voltaire and Abraham Lincoln would get quoted a lot less if they had just watched television all day. Commit yourself to lifelong learning, use your leisure time well and do good works. You’ll have more to talk about.

6. Practice consistently. Like everything else, conversation skills improve the more you use them. Brush up on small talk with the cashier at your grocery store or with other customers in the coffee shop of your local bookstore. You’ll be better prepared for your next job interview or for having dinner with your future in-laws.

Some of these suggestions are easy to use and some will require significant effort. They’re all worthwhile. Mastering the art of conversation will help you to share more of yourself with others, deepen your friendships, and learn more about the world around you.