How to politely leave a group chat

by Jaimie Abbott

I love a good group chat! As soon as there are more than 2 participants, a group chat is made. Work chats, family chats, Mums Group chats, sports team chats or those made for parties and events, the list of group chats can be endless. And a lot of the time it develops, and veers off the original topic or reason it was made.

For some people they can be too much!

If you’re a people pleaser you might find leaving a group chat a bit uncomfortable or even intimidating. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings; you don’t want to be questioned why you’re leaving and muting the chat just isn’t enough.

You’re totally welcome to leave any group chat you want without an explanation, but if it’s not as easy as that for you I have got some tips to help you leave in a polite way.

Signs you should leave a group chat

• The group chat annoys you, anything anyone says, winds you up.
• You’re not overly fond of the people in the chat.
• The chat doesn’t really do much to lift your mood.
• You don’t like having unread notifications.
• You find yourself ranting about the chat to friends and family.
• You find yourself having to read the messages even though you don’t really care.
• You don’t agree with the views and opinions of those in the chat.

All these things are signs it’s probably time to leave the group chat. It might not be just one chat you need to leave, there could be a couple. And chances are you probably already know you should leave you’re just looking for an excuse to give before you leave.

You could of course leave without an explanation but you’re likely to get questions from members outside of the chat and that could be just as awkward for you as still being involved. 

So, how do you leave a group chat politely?

1. You can offer a polite reason for leaving – By offering a polite reason and not just leaving without an explanation, you are decreasing the chance of hurting anyone’s feelings and getting asked any questions outside of the group.

2. “I’ve not got a lot of storage on my phone and the group chat is taking up too much space.” This is an especially good reason if the chat you’re trying to leave is big on sending a lot of photos and videos. Even more so if they’re on WhatsApp and you have the auto save feature on.
3. “I’m super busy at the moment and can’t get around to answering any of my group messages so I’m removing myself from a few” – this one might help ease the blow if you’re worried about hurting the feelings of those in the chat. Making them think you’re leaving several chats and not just theirs could help make it seem less personal.
4. “I’ve got a data limit on my phone contract and group chats are using the data too quickly”– in the world of wi-fi this might not be the easiest one to use but it can still work.
5. “I’m studying right now, and I’ve got to delete some distractions – maybe I could be re-added when I’ve finished my studies?” You can change this slightly and use it as though you’re too busy at work too. Adding that you’d potentially like to be readded later may help soften the blow of you leaving too – you just need to be careful you aren’t readded without being consulted first.
6. “I’m trying to cut down my screen time.” Aren’t we all?
7. Contact an admin of the group and ask them to remove you – this means you haven’t exited without an explanation, and it would be up to the admin to field questions if there are any.

You can also mute the chat altogether and hope that over time it becomes dormant. If you get questioned on your lack of participation you can still use the above excuses.

You can also just ignore the chat if you’re happy to leave it running in the background and seeing the notifications on your screen.

And if you are okay with the less polite versions and a little confrontation, you can just be honest. If your reason for leaving is because you don’t agree with the views that are being shared or it’s making you feel uncomfortable, you could conquer your fears and give an honest reason why you’re leaving.

It’s probably best to make sure you don’t just leave without giving some sort of reason, but I admit I have done this before. The participants in this group chat would always complain about people behind their back, it was filled of negatives vibes with people I had not much in common with so one day I decided the time spent reading the messages could be time better spent doing other things like watching the sun set with my family! So I left, and not one person asked why I left. So it was definitely the right decision to leave!

But ultimately, it’s not good for your health to be exposed to a group chat filled with negative tones. So, make sure you look after yourself and leave the group chat and ideally with a polite excuse as soon as you can. If there is something we have learned in 2020 and 2021 – life is way too short!